Mad Girls Love Song, 2019, Performance Art Novel & Spoken Word Performance

‘We are mad girls and we feel too much, and stories like these don’t end well for us….

We live in a culture that tells us it is uncool to care too much. That presents the woman who holds feelings for an ex, who still has unresolved questions in her mind, who is still not over it as being not romantic but desperate, needing to be fixed, ‘mad’. These common representations shame silences women from expressing their true stories, articulating their questions, being proud of caring or not being over it. I decided the most radical act might not be to shy away from that but go deep into those unresolved needs, wants and desires. To own them. To be a mad girl…

Starting in October 2018 I went on a year long journey of discovery. Into my old phones and emails. To retrieve old text messages. To work out what happened with us. I made it my mission to understand. What do you do when you have questions but no one will answer them for you: I visited tarot readers, played with white magic, consulted google, interviewed friends. For a year I embodied this position. I pushed my memory to its limits. I scrutinised, analysed. I wrote 80,000 words and once I was done, I wrote this spoken word piece: this is my Mad Girl's Love Song….